No, I'm not pregnant. However, I do have renewed hope that I may some day have a healthy, term pregnancy. Last week, I had a large uterine septum corrected. Basically, since birth, I have had a large wall of fibrous tissue splitting my uterus in half. Until this fall, I believed that I had been struck by lightening twice - two pregnancies, two disastrous and unexplained endings. I believed my doctors when they told me there was no way to know what caused Patricia's death at 31 weeks. I believed them when after two sonograms in between pregnancies, they said it was safe to try again and that the odds were in our favor. I believed them with they told me Anna's birth at 26 weeks was due to incompetent cervix, another condition I had no risk factors for...you get the picture. Basically, they were all wrong.
When I was 6 weeks pregnant with Anna, I went in for an early sonogram and the technician remarked that she saw what looked like a bicornuate uterus, or heart shaped uterus. This was not seen during any previous sonograms, neither pregnant nor non pregnant (of which there were three). I was concerned, but my doctor assured me there was no causal link between bicornuate uterus and stillbirth. Though it went on to cause me a great deal of anxiety during my pregnancy with Anna, since I was already pregnant, there was nothing we could do but wait.
After Anna was born, my doctor recommended an x-ray procedure called an HSG to confirm the shape of my uterus. However, I was required to wait until my cycle returned to ensure I wasn't pregnant (ha!) and this didn't happen until July of this year. When we determined through HSG and 3D ultrasound that I actually had a uterine septum and not a bicornuate uterus, my doctor was shocked. She said it was a miracle either girl made it so far because the miscarriage rate is so high. However, the septum is overwhelmingly likely to be the cause of both Patricia's stillbirth and Anna's prematurity.
At last, we had an answer! I took it hard. It was nice believing that what happened to both girls was not my fault and could not have been prevented. While I understand that this condition was not my fault, it is extremely difficult to process the idea that Patricia's death and Anna's early birth and subsequent issues could have been prevented with an easy, 45 minute outpatient surgery.
I had the procedure, a hysteroscopy, done by an experienced Reproductive Endocrinologist. After the surgery, he said the septum was larger than he expected but he believes he got it all and a second surgery won't be needed. It was almost too easy. I had no pain, very little bleeding, and was out in time for brunch! I am so thankful that the "fix" was so easy, but I am still working to let go of the anger. Patricia's death, and a literal lifetime of pain for Anna could have and should have been prevented.
I truly believe that our family will benefit in so many ways from the addition of a little brother or sister (or both!) for Anna, and I hope that we will get the all clear to begin trying soon.
