Days 24, 28 and 30: Artwork, Special Place, and Growth

24. Artwork: Have you created a piece of artwork in the wake of your baby’s death? Or maybe someone has given you some artwork to honour your baby? Please feel welcome to share links to your own website or to other artists.

Like I mentioned in my last post, Cliff and I visited Faith's Lodge a few months after Patricia's death. One of the traditions there is the creation of a heartstone. These stones are placed on the property in remembrance of our precious babies. I have never been a very artistic person, but I love the stone I made for Patricia.

We would love to visit again someday and find her stone.

28. Special Place: This could be your baby’s place of rest. If they do not have a grave, maybe you have a special place that you associate with your baby. A place you go to, to remember them. Where is it? Why did you choose that particular place?

Patricia's special place is wherever our family is. We chose cremation rather than burial because we don't know where our future will take us and I couldn't bear the thought of leaving her behind. Wherever we end up, her special place will be with us.

About 14 weeks into my pregnancy with Patricia

30. Growth: Do you believe you have grown or are growing as a person since the loss of your precious baby? How? How do you see other people now? How do you see the world? Do you believe you have a higher purpose? Do you believe your baby had a higher purpose?

Despite my occasional low days when I just feel like giving up, I do have hope for the future. Whether it is true or not, loss moms tend to believe we cherish and appreciate our living children more than parents who have not lost a child. Our perspectives are forever changed. I believe my experience as Patricia's mother helps me every day as Anna's mother. Our daughter's death did not have a purpose, but her life had a purpose. As I described earlier in the month, our family is Patricia's legacy and we are forever changed and made stronger by the love we have for her.

About 24 weeks into my pregnancy with Patricia