Days 15 and 16: Wave of Light and Seasons

15. Wave Of Light: Today is October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Light a candle at 7pm to help create a continuous wave of light around the world for 24 hours. Photograph your light!

Last year, we decided to start a new tradition for this day. Each year we will light the candle Cliff and I lit at our wedding. It symbolizes our family, which Patricia will always be a part of.

16. Seasons: Share what certain seasons or holidays mean to you now. What season did your baby die in? What season were they conceived/born in? Etc. Do you dread those seasons now? Are they more meaningful to you because of your baby?

This is appropriate because we are entering the Fall season during which, for the last two years, I have been pregnant. It began with Patricia. At Halloween we told our close friends about my pregnancy and at Thanksgiving we told extended family. When I think of Fall events and foods: pumpkin, hot chocolate, and holiday treats, I think of my pregnancies. My pregnancy with Patricia was the happiest time in my life. I was so full of love, joy, and excitement.

She died in the Spring, just after spring break. This year we were in the NICU with Patricia so we were distracted, but next year may be more difficult. She died on a Monday. The weekend before, we had taken a short road trip together, a babymoon in San Antonio to celebrate the new adventure we were embarking upon and enjoy the newly warm weather.

March 24, 2012 -three days before our world came to a stop