When Patricia died, I immediately reached out online. Sometimes I would just search Google for "stillbirth" or "stillbirth support" and click link after link after link. Some loss mamas on one forum I joined told me about a place called Faith's Lodge. Faith's Lodge is a place in Wisconsin where parents and families experiencing the serious illness or loss of a child can gather together in strength and remembrance. There are weeks dedicated to stillbirth and infant loss and we visited in June 2012. We had an incredible experience! It was so nice to spend time with people who truly understood what we were going through. We could openly talk about Patricia and hear others' stories without fear of making people uncomfortable or getting potentially hurtful responses. Most of all, it was an absolute blast. We laughed more that weekend than we had in weeks. We all needed it, and we needed to do it around other people with common experiences because no one felt guilty or like we loved our children any less. It was especially good for my husband because he needed to connect with other dads. These women and I remain connected and many of us have supported each other through subsequent pregnancies.
23. Tattoos/Jewelry: Do you have a piece of jewelry in memory of your baby? Or maybe a tattoo. Please feel welcome to share links too.
I decided to get a piece of jewelry with Patricia's birthstone, an aquamarine, to wear at all times. Two days after she was born, we went out looking. We went to several department stores before heading over to the jewelry store where we purchased our wedding rings. There it was, waiting for us. A white gold ring with a heart surrounding an aquamarine and small hearts on each side with tiny diamonds and delicate scrolling. It is beautiful and dainty, just like she was. Her initials and birth date are inscribed inside. My mom had a remembrance ring made with a tiny pink diamond. Her ring also has Patricia's initials inscribed.
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